I want to write

Priorities, executive function, Shia LaBeouf.

I want to write.

I wake up, and I want to write, but there are so many other Things To Do, then my body breaks and I need to sleep, so I have less time and the same amount to do. I’ll write before bed.

I want to write.

I stay up to spend time with my husband. I stay up to spend time not doing Things That Need Doing. It’s then time to sleep and I’m so tired, so I just go to bed.

I want to write.

I’m in a beautiful place experiencing amazing things. I’ll write here. But there are so many things, and I need to sleep. I’ll hide in bed early and write.

Then my tablet won’t finish loading up. The blog app wants my phone to have more space despite me having loads. The tablet is loaded, but I have no WiFi code and I can’t scan the barcode. I’m so tired. It’s been a lot crammed into two days, and my body is broken. I’m so tired and prettifying photos, and sorting a layout and tags is so much. Maybe I can in a quiet spot tomorrow.

I want to write.

I don’t have writer’s block. The words are there. So many words about so many things. They swirl in my head constantly. I was going to say “from the moment I wake”, but dreams and nightmares as vivid as the ones that fill my sleep are still my words swirling, fighting to be pinned down onto paper like a suicidal butterfly.

I want to write.

I want to teach myself that writing can come first. That it’s ok to put writing above some of the other jobs. That writing isn’t me being lazy or hiding from other tasks. Writing is just as important as so many other things.

I need to write.

Brain. Let me write.

*this post is in no way connected to or endorsed by Shia LaBeouf… That would be mildly terrifying